


In the Showers

by Zedoktor



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 18:35:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12463500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zedoktor/pseuds/Zedoktor
Summary: In which Heavy discovers that Medic isn't as reserved as he thinks, and this might just be the start of something interesting.





	1. Chapter 1

Heavy regretted skipping the showers earlier. It was that or miss out on Soldier’s fantastic spare ribs, and he’d intended to clean up as soon as dinner was over, but Sascha needed to be cleaned and he got distracted with some new blueprints. Before he knew it, eleven o’ clock had rolled around and he was still dusty and grimy.   
  
A quick shower before bed would help him sleep, and he walked to the locker room in nothing but a bathrobe and slippers. It was all quiet here apart from the distant hum of the base machinery. The rest of the team would be either already asleep or getting ready for bed, and their rooms were far enough away that the sound of the water wouldn’t disturb them.   
  
As he slipped inside the door, however, he realized that the water was already running, and there was a faint, hazy mist swirling inside the showers. Someone else was also having a late night wash? He wasn’t sure if he wanted any company. Heavy hung up his robe and left his towel on the rail, and peered into the tiled area.   
  
Ah, it was their Medic. He’d only been with them a few months. A competent man, if rather aloof and formal. He didn’t seem to be able to relax, and he never showered with them. Of course he would be around this late at night.   
  
Heavy was about to greet him, but the words died in his throat as he suddenly became aware of what the other man was doing. Medic was facing the wall, one hand bracing himself, and letting the hot water stream over his head and down his back. The other hand was moving somewhere at his crotch. The steam from all the showerheads going at once kept him partly obscured, but it was obvious that the rather straitlaced German was masturbating.   
  
He was frozen with surprise and indecision. Should he leave, quickly, and forget about the shower? Should he make some noise out here, and give Medic a subtle warning that he wasn’t alone? Should he just walk in and laugh it off? This wasn’t outside his experience, but Medic was a little strange, and he wasn’t sure how he’d react. As Heavy watched, Medic groaned and began to pant for breath. The sound sent a wave of heat that settled in his groin, reminding him that it had been a long time since he’d touched himself.   
  
Maybe he should make some noise. This could be very embarrassing for both of them.   
  
Medic suddenly said something, a few mumbled words in German. His movements became a little more urgent. Heavy paused, not willing to move away just yet as his curiosity got the better of him. He knew a little of the language after all.   
  
“Berühre mich,” he said softly. “Mmm… fick mich, Heavy… gott, ich will…” He trailed off into a breathy, aching murmur, while Heavy was rooted to the spot with shock.   
  
Medic was fantasizing about  _him_ . The man who held himself separate from the rest of the team, who was nothing but polite and standoffish, was pleasuring himself by thinking about Heavy. He had no idea what to think about it. His dick seemed to know very well, however, and he could already feel the swell of blood rushing southwards. All at once he was a teenager again, trying to deal with the unnatural feelings that no true son of Mother Russia would ever experience.   
  
He would never be able to look at the doctor again without hearing the sound of his voice as it was right now. He couldn’t bring himself to walk away, even though it would clearly be the best way out of this uncomfortable situation. A small, subversive part of his mind, however, urged him to go in there and proposition Medic. The doctor was attractive, after all. He stared down at himself, torn between willing his erection to go away and wanting to break his long-running habit of celibacy.   
  
His ears were assaulted by a somewhat louder, shuddering groan. The heat surged again in his stomach, and his groin ached with the need for another body. To hell with it – if he refused, at the very least they would have blackmail material on each other. Heavy found himself walking into the showers. Medic seemed oblivious to everything around him; his eyes were closed, and his head was bowed under the water.   
  
Heavy planted a hand on the wall on either side of him with a wet smack, effectively trapping the doctor between his arms. Medic visibly jumped, then spun around. When he saw Heavy’s face, he went completely pale and pressed himself against the wall in a panic.   
  
They stared at one another for a long, drawn out moment. Medic looked up at him, trembling and fearful. “Please don’t hurt me,” he whispered.   
  
Heavy slowly let his arms fall. He was not that kind of man. “You said my name.”   
  
“I - I am sorry, I did not mean it,” he pleaded. Medic seemed to be trying to dig his way through the wall with his shoulderblades. “Please, just let me leave, you vill never hear of zis again -”   
  
“Do you want me?”   
  
“…Vhat?”   
  
Heavy stepped close to him, and let his hands settle on Medic’s waist. The man went rigid in terror. He leaned in, and spoke right next to his ear. “Do you want me?”   
  
He felt the twitch of surprise, the quiet inhalation. Medic had gripped his arms by reflex when he moved closer to him; he still trembled, but the tense fear unwound a little from his body. “You vould… viz me?”   
  
“Only if you want.”   
  
Medic’s breath got much shorter, and the grip on Heavy’s arms got much tighter. Heavy pulled back for a moment to look at the doctor’s face. The color had returned to his cheeks, but he looked up at the taller man with almost-disbelieving eyes. He managed to nod, as if speaking was too much for him.   
  
With the water streaming over them both, Heavy pulled him fully into his arms. The doctor hardly seemed to know what to do for a moment other than lean into his chest and take some deep breaths. Being wet made the movement easy, and their skin slid past each other naturally. Medic wasn’t used to this, it seemed – and in truth, neither was he, but at least he had some prior experience to call on. Heavy ran a hand over his ass, and got a delightful groan in response.   
  
“What did you say?” he asked. “Tell me what you want.”   
  
Medic buried his face against his neck. “I… touch me,” he said indistinctly, his voice throbbing with feeling. “Please touch me. Please… f-fuck me, oh gott Heavy…” He was almost crying, clutching at Heavy’s shoulders like a lifeline, the whole facade of the formal doctor in tatters.   
  
This went a lot deeper than mere physical release, but Heavy wasn’t about to walk away at this point. He pushed him up against the cold tiles, and started to grind against him. The doctor kissed him with the kind of desperation he’d never seen outside of a battlefield, his arms tightly locked around Heavy’s neck; moaning and shaking with pent-up desire, whispered words in German lost against his lips. And Heavy obliged, despite not knowing their exact meaning. The tone was more than enough.   
  
He slid his hand down between his buttocks, then pressed two fingers against his anus. The tremors rippling through the doctor’s body intensified. The tense ring of muscle flexed and fluttered under his touch as he gently caressed the skin around it. “Tell me,” he said again. “Tell me what you want.” He needed to hear that voice, and feel the way it went straight to his gut.   
  
Medic could barely whimper. “F-fick mich… please, Heavy… p-please, please…” Pressed together like this, he could feel every ragged breath and throbbing twitch. Medic begged as if he had never had this before and never would again, and Heavy couldn’t help thinking it was the most erotic thing he’d ever experienced. They were wet enough not to need lube, he judged. He pressed a little harder with the tip of one finger, and it popped inside.   
  
Medic shuddered, and gripped him even more tightly. Heavy started to move again, slowly, thrusting his hips at the same pace as he worked his fingers in and out. The doctor was almost incoherent, but whether from pain or pleasure, he couldn’t tell. Just the way he looked – head thrown back, eyes and mouth wide open, seeing nothing and incapable of words – was incredible.   
  
“You are so beautiful, so beautiful,” he murmured. “I will fill you up, make you feel wonderful… tell me you want it…” He kissed him again, long and wanton and promising, stretching him a little more as his fingers coiled inside him.   
  
“Aaahhh, please!” Medic gasped. “P-please oh gott I… I caaa… aaahhh!”   
  
Heavy pulled out his fingers. “Turn around,” he whispered. Medic leaned heavily against the wall, water flowing down his back and over Heavy’s cock as he rubbed the shaft along the cleft of his ass. It was getting harder to think, harder to maintain control. He steadied himself with one hand on the wall, which Medic latched onto and kissed in between moaning like a whore. Only a little resistance, then the doctor groaned in pain and he slid partway inside.   
  
“Oh gott… oh gott, it hurts,” Medic said in a choked voice. He reached behind blindly and tried to pull Heavy in closer. “Don’t… don’t stop,  _please_ …”   
  
It had been so long since he had felt the heat of another body around his dick. He wanted to savor this for as long as possible. Heavy moved gently, drawing out a little and pushing in a little more, working himself a little deeper every time. He ran his free hand around Medic’s hip, and let his fingers drift up and down his member with every slow surge. The reaction was intoxicating all on its own.   
  
Medic grabbed the back of his neck as Heavy leaned forward, dragging their mouths together in spite of the awkward angle. If he was in pain, he didn’t seem to care. The slow pace, and the gentleness, couldn’t last. Heavy grabbed his dick and jerked him off as he bucked wildly behind him, and the doctor just about had the strength to hang on. They both moaned and gasped, half-understood words in their native tongues muttered against wet skin. Medic begged for more, harder, oh god, please; Heavy told him, over and over, that he was so beautiful and sexy.   
  
Medic came first, silently screaming and arched against Heavy, who wasn’t far behind. They rode out their orgasms together, and came down from the high almost at the same time. They sagged against the wall, and for several minutes, there was nothing but the hiss of the water and two sets of ragged breathing.   
  
Heavy pulled back, and was slightly ashamed to see that the doctor was bleeding. He was still a little unsteady on his feet, but Medic was barely standing at all. He turned him around and held him close again, leaning his shoulder on the wall for support. “I hurt you,” he said, “I am sorry.”   
  
“I have a Medigun,” Medic said quietly. His hands crept up around Heavy’s waist, and he sighed against his chest. “Zank you.”   
  
“…You have not done before?”   
  
“I have… only been viz vomen, a few times. Enough to know I vanted somezing else.”   
  
Aha, Heavy thought. Inexperience, and something more. Perhaps the Nazis were as stern as a Russian commissar when it came to deviant behavior. He wasn’t sure how to deal with it. They stood there a while in silence, wrapped up in the afterglow and in each other, letting the water flow around them as they recovered.   
  
He rubbed Medic’s back and squeezed him briefly. “I understand. We should finish shower, yes?”   
  
Medic nodded, and released him slowly. They got their respective bars of soap and set to in silence. The doctor seemed to withdraw again, and, before long, the showers were shut off and they were in the locker room, getting dressed. It took him all of a second to pull his robe back on, while Medic had worn his full uniform. He watched as the other man knotted his tie.   
  
He couldn’t leave it like this. Heavy meant it when he said he understood. The doctor needed more than just sex, he believed. As Medic turned to walk to the door, Heavy caught his arm. “Wait. You, ah, you are going to bed?”   
  
There was a hint of suspicion in his eyes. “Vhy do you ask?” he said softly, almost regretfully.   
  
“You do not have to sleep alone,” he said. Still unsure if it was a good idea or not, Heavy moved closer to him and touched his shoulder. “Come to my room.”   
  
Medic seemed lost for words. He stared at Heavy, and, for a moment, he wondered if he would get any kind of response at all.   
  
“Vhy vould you let me stay viz you?” His voice was barely above a whisper.   
  
“Because you need it,” he replied simply. His hand moved from Medic’s arm to his hip. “It is a cold night. We will… keep each other warm.”   
  
It wasn’t much of a come on, and he hadn’t really intended it like that. Medic still swallowed hard, and he nodded again.   
  
Heavy took him by the hand and lead him through the base. They stopped by the infirmary to get some healing, and then on to his room. He winced when he remembered how messy it was, but at least the bed was clear.   
  
As soon as they slipped inside, Heavy locked the door. No point risking someone like Soldier barging in in the morning. The doctor stood in the middle of the floor, looking around and quite lost.   
  
Heavy patted his arm, making him jump. “Hey. Are you alright?”   
  
Medic didn’t meet his eyes. He stared fixedly at his feet when Heavy spoke. “Are you going to do anyzing to me?” he asked.   
  
“No?” he said, rather puzzled, and held out his hand. “Come to bed. Is very late.”   
  
Medic shrugged off his coat mechanically. Heavy only had to hang up his bathrobe and step out of his slippers, and sleeping in the nude was his preference. He watched the doctor’s trembling hands fumble with the buttons of his shirt, and shook his head. “I will help.”   
  
He began to undo the buttons as Medic pulled at his tie and gloves. As his shirt was slowly opened, the German’s movements became more frantic. He tore at his clothes, struggled to get out of them as quickly as possible, then threw himself at Heavy and hugged him tightly.   
  
“Hey, hey, is okay,” he said, rather bewildered at this reaction. Medic said something muffled against his neck, and left shaky kisses on his skin. Heavy couldn’t think what to do other than hold him and make reassuring noises. He was clearly scared, but of what?   
  
He pulled him down into the blankets, and pushed the last of his clothes out of the bed. Medic pressed into him, as if he were trying to hide in his arms. What had happened to him, Heavy wondered. He ran his hands down Medic’s back, along his thighs, and up through his hair. “You are safe here,” he whispered. “Is okay, I understand. I am like you. We talk tomorrow, da? Sleep now.”   
  
Medic murmured something that sounded like agreement. Heavy rested his chin on the top of his head, and stayed awake long enough to feel the doctor’s breathing become regular and slow. He relished the soft feeling of his sleeping bedmate, and finally drifted off in the early hours of the morning.


	2. In the Bedroom

They hadn’t talked.

That was what bothered him. Heavy had woken up the morning after bringing Medic to bed, and the doctor was gone. He was avoiding him now, of that much he was certain. In two weeks since the event, Medic had returned to his usual, uptight, aloof self, and he took pains never to be alone with Heavy again.

Something had gotten to him. Something in Medic’s past had spooked him, badly, and this outward display of coldness was the result. There was no other way for Heavy to reconcile the formal German doctor with the frightened, vulnerable man who had slept in his arms.

He thought back to his own childhood. He had been lucky enough to be able to explore his desires without getting caught, and, in the end, he had come to accept them. It made him a deviant, perhaps, but he was not alone in that respect, and as long as he only indulged himself with others like him, it hurt no one and he refused to feel bad about it. But Medic… maybe he had not been lucky. Maybe he had been caught. There were stories about what the Nazis did to deviants.

What to do, then? He didn’t want to force the issue, but what would happen if he didn’t? A man could only handle so much tension before he just snapped. Heavy didn’t want to be around when that happened to Medic.

He had been scared. Heavy would have to be careful with him. He decided the best thing to do was give the doctor the choice of coming to him – a note left on his desk, with an invitation.

_Dear Doktor_

_Please come to my room tonight. Only for talk._

_I promise you will be safe._

_Heavy_

* * *

He hadn’t specified a time. Heavy looked over Sascha while he waited, and made notes on a new blueprint. He guessed that Medic would not arrive until very late, if he came at all.

He recalled his first time, with another young soldier. No women around, they had reasoned, and the sexual frustration would affect their combat readiness. The venue had been a barn loft, late at night. They’d kissed and touched, and the pleasure of exploring another man’s naked body awakened his sexuality like never before. It hadn’t been love – no, he was too sensible for that – but it satisfied him more than a woman ever had.

The shower had been Medic’s first time. A hard, cheap fuck that he’d been willing to walk away from until Heavy invited him back to his room. And then… then the doctor had nearly fallen apart. It made a strange kind of sense, in a way. He could rationalize the former as situational, but not the latter.

Heavy waited, and waited, and nearly fell asleep on his desk before hearing a quiet knock at the door.

His head shot up, and he nearly tipped over backwards. “Come in!” he called out hurriedly, scrambling to his feet and pushing the chair in. He was wide awake now.

The handle turned slowly, and the door opened a crack. Part of Medic’s face appeared as he peered inside.

“Hello,” Heavy said. “Come in and sit down, Doktor.”

Medic entered the room and carefully closed the door behind him. His movements were quick and nervous, for all that he was trying not to show it. He faced Heavy, but his eyes were firmly on the floor.

Heavy didn’t want to make a move towards him just yet. He held out his hand. “Doktor?”

Medic lifted his gaze to him for a moment, and it was that of a terrified man. His hands shook as he slipped his gloves off, then reached up and undid his tie. He started to unbutton his shirt with difficulty.

“Wait!” Heavy stepped forward and took his wrists as gently as he could. “Wait. Stop. Please, you do not have to do this. I just want to talk.” The idea that Medic had thought wrongly about his note, that he had been asking for something more, horrified him – and made him wonder even more about what had happened to him.

What was worse was the fact that the doctor had come to him anyway.

Heavy was struck with a deep sense of compassion for him. He cradled his cheek in one giant hand and lifted Medic’s head. “What did they do to you?” he asked softly.

Medic’s eyes were bright with fear, and he trembled in Heavy’s grasp. His mouth opened and closed, but his breath was too fast and labored for words. In the absence of any better ideas, Heavy hugged him close and hoped that this would be enough to ease whatever thoughts were torturing him.

It helped, perhaps. He felt Medic reaching around him, and gripping his T-shirt tightly. Heavy leaned their heads together, and began to stroke his back. “You are safe with me,” he said. “I promise, Doktor. You do not have to do anything.”

“I… I vant to…” he whispered against Heavy’s neck. “Please… I do not care if it hurts…”

Heavy’s jaw almost hit the floor in shock. His first reaction, to ask what kind of man did Medic think he was, was quashed with some difficulty. This wasn’t about him. He looked down at the doctor and shook his head.

“ _I_ care,” he said emphatically. “It was your first, and – I should have been gentle. I am sorry. But it is not meant to hurt, Doktor. It feels good, all of it. Especially this…” He brushed their lips together, and felt the answering tremor in Medic’s body. “I know someone has hurt you. This is why I want to talk. Please tell me?”

Medic said nothing for a moment, then pressed his face against Heavy again. “Can ve go to bed? It vill be easier…”

He could agree to that. Heavy helped him to finish unbuttoning his shirt, and slid his hands under the cloth to push it off his shoulders. Medic seemed to lose himself in the feeling of being touched, skin to skin. He worked slowly, shedding each article of clothing in turn until the doctor was naked, and then it was he who needed to get undressed. Medic pulled up his T-shirt, unbuckled his pants, and slipped his underwear off his hips with shaky fingers.

Heavy did the same as the first night, and drew him down into the bed beside him. He stroked his back and thighs, and kissed his forehead; anything to be reassuring. Medic made a faint, needy noise, and his breathing became a little easier.

“There vas a boy,” he whispered. “At school. I vas only twelve. Ze ozzers knew he did not like girls. I saw four of zhem dragging him avay, into ze forest. I followed, and I saw…” He took a deep, ragged breath. “I heard him screaming, vhen zhey… had him. He killed himself a few months later.”

The shaking got worse, and Heavy tightened his hold on him. “Everyvun said… it vas better, zhat he vas gone… Zhey said he – he deserved to die… Men who… felt like he did vere sick monsters who should be killed…” Medic clammed up, and it seemed that he couldn’t say any more.

Heavy wanted to shake his head in disgust. No wonder he was terrified. So he had been with women a few times, and never with a man before Heavy… Suddenly it made sense that he had come, in spite of the expectation that it would hurt. Medic was middle-aged at least. He had probably been alone a very long time. Alone with the thoughts of what might happen, if the wrong people found out, but still wanting any kind of closeness…

“Why did you leave, in the morning?” he asked. “Are you afraid of me?”

Medic didn’t answer.

Heavy spoke against his forehead, letting his lips drift over Medic’s skin. “Doktor? Is okay, to be afraid. I understand, it does not offend me -”

Medic’s head came up, and his eyes were brimming with tears. “I should not vant you!” he said hoarsely. “I should – I should not feel like zhis! It is not right and – if I vere not a coward – I deserve to –”

His voice cracked just as he did, and Heavy could do nothing more than hold him close as he cried. That would have to be enough. He couldn’t imagine what it was like. He didn’t know what to tell him that could make it easier. It broke his heart to know that Medic hid so much pain under formality and politeness. It made him rage at the men who had so casually hurt him.

“Shh, is okay,” he murmured. “We are not monsters, Doktor. This is not wrong, I promise. Shh, no need to cry…” He pulled Medic’s shaky hands down from his face, and wiped away the tears. “Please, there is no one to drag you away. There is just me here. I will make you feel better.”

He kissed Medic’s face, then moved down to his lips; even while he was in pieces, the doctor responded to the simple affection and comfort. Heavy knew what he wanted – to be touched, and held, and loved in the smallest and most insignificant ways, and ultimately to be shown that he could have all of it without hating himself.

Heavy rolled onto his back, and lifted Medic on top of him. He still flinched, as if he expected a punch rather than a soft caress, but it was the instinctive reaction of a mind too broken to know friend from foe. Heavy handled him carefully, murmured soothingly to him, and made sure the blankets were tucked in around them both.

He started at the doctor’s shoulders, and ran his hands all the way down his body. Not quite a massage, not at this angle, but he worked out the tension with long, slow strokes. It took some time, but Medic began to relax, and his pained, short breaths became quiet. Tears still ran across his nose and dripped onto Heavy’s chest, but they were the last of them.

“Does this feel good?” he asked softly. Medic sniffed and nodded. “Is all okay. We are not bad people, Doktor. You can touch me too, and I will like.”

Medic moved his hand a couple of inches. His fingers passed over Heavy’s nipple, and it perked up at the sensation.

Yes, very good… Heavy lifted the doctor’s hand up and kissed his way down his palm. “Not so hard, is it? Very little thing. Too little to be wrong. You can do more, if you want.”

He guided him slowly. Medic wasn’t only afraid of being found out, he reasoned – he was also terrified of his own desire. It was part desperation and part ignorance; he had had no one to explore with, no one to teach him, and his only knowledge of it was horrifying. It would take time for him to truly come to terms with himself.

Heavy resolved that he would never take the chance of hurting him again. He hadn’t known Medic’s history at the time, but he did now.

He couldn’t say how long they spent just touching before the doctor started to move on top of him. He nuzzled Heavy’s neck and kissed his chest blindly, and pressed his erection into his belly in search of more. Maybe he didn’t know what he wanted, but it clearly didn’t stop him wanting it.

Heavy pushed him up. “I show you something, just wait.” He felt around down the side of the bed and found the small tube of lube he had stolen from the infirmary, then shifted a little until Medic was settled between his legs. “Use this, and take us both.”

Medic took the tube, confused and a little panicked. “Vhat? I don’t -”

“Shh, like this, is very easy.” Heavy took his hand and pressed his fingers into the messy stuff, then nudged it down to his groin. “Like you are touching yourself, but with me as well.” He maneuvered their hips together, and watched Medic groan when their cocks brushed.

The doctor got the idea quickly. He braced himself on one hand and wrapped the other around both their erections. Heavy had to remind himself that this was for Medic, not for him, but he couldn’t help a long sigh of pleasure. “Very simple…” he said, almost to himself. “Slowly, slowly… no rush, yes? Just let it feel good. Just let it feel…”

He slipped his own hand over Medic’s to help him, and kissed him softly. Sex could be wild, chaotic even, but he wanted to show him that it could also be gentle. There was nothing to fear, nothing to be ashamed of. Still, the doctor was a little too desperate, and his grip was uncomfortably tight – good for him, as he was whining and throbbing with arousal, but not so much for a much bigger Russian.

Heavy pushed him over onto his back and turned onto his side facing him. “This will be nice, trust me,” he whispered into his ear. “You are so beautiful, so sexy… I will make you feel it, I promise.”

He pressed their lips together and soon had Medic moaning into his mouth. His whole body twitched and writhed, and Heavy slipped his knee between his legs to keep him still. The feeling of Medic’s erection pressing into his thigh made his own body ache; how satisfying it would be to spread him wide open and show him just how much better it could be. Not tonight, but maybe some other day… Heavy ran his hand down Medic’s chest, over his stomach, and slid his fingers through his pubic hair before wrapping them around his cock.

It only took a few minutes before the doctor groaned pitifully and clawed at Heavy’s shoulders, and he climaxed in a sweaty, trembling, shuddering mess that left him weakly squirming in the sheets and panting for breath. Heavy quickly turned away for a moment and finished himself off. His own release was far less spectacular, but it was enough to make him lie back for a moment beside Medic and simply enjoy the afterglow.

To hell with cleaning up, he’d do it tomorrow.

Heavy pulled Medic into his arms. “Not so bad, hm?” he said, stroking his hair.

“Mmm… wunderbar…” he replied sleepily. “Du bist so gut…” He left a few dazed kisses on Heavy’s neck but quickly became drowsy, and as Heavy felt his own eyes wanting to close, his bedmate gave a soft snore.

He smiled, and thought that this time he would not be alone in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Please note: I'm aware that the sex described here is kinda stupid. I'm not going to edit it out, because my stupidity should stand as written. In short: anal sex in a shower requires lubrication. Sorry.


End file.
